Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

 Originally posted February 5, 2012

I know.  I’m a granola head.  But I’m a granola head that grew up with Nutella.  Yummy Delicious Goodness.  It’s World Nutella Mother’s Day.  How could I not share my recipe for Nutella Funnel Cake?  I mean, really.  That’d just be silly.

Chocolate Hazelnut Funnel Cake

Ingredients ::

• 3 organic eggs
• 1/4 cup sucanat (or sugar)
• 2 cups organic milk
• 3/4 cup chocolate hazelnut spread (Nutella)
• 3 1/2 cups organic all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons organic baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 3 teaspoons chocolate hazelnut powder (Ghirardelli)

for frying ::

• organic sunflower or canola oil

for topping ::

• 1/4 cup organic powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon chocolate hazelnut powder
• melted chocolate hazelnut spread (optional)

Directions ::

1.  In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs & sugar with a hand mixer.  Add milk & Nutella, continue beating until well blended.

2.  Add dry ingredients, beat until smooth.

3.  While oil heats in pan, pour batter into a squeezie bottle.

4.  Squeeze batter into oil in random swirls.  Brown on both sides for 20-30 seconds. Drain on paper towels.

(Note :: Mini funnel cakes are easier to flip over, are crispier, and just plain cuter.)

5.  Combine dry toppings.  Melt Nutella.  Bedazzle funnel cakes with one or both.

This batch of batter makes a ton of mini funnel cakes so I encourage you to take some over to your neighbors, meet new people, and spread the love on World Nutella Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers who are celebrating or being celebrated today…

I decided to say “yes” when Shabby Apple contacted me about their company.  I, of course, only said yes because I was going to write an Epic Review.  It would be the review that would put all other reviews to shame.  Because I’m an extremist that way.  I have to jazz it all up, bedazzle it, with my typically grandiose plans.  (Hence, Sofia’s Ideas.)

I know!!!  I look freaking amazing, right?  ;0

I will spare you the details of what actually happened between then and now.  But, I will say that absolutely nothing went according to plan.  Not one thing.  It was one situation after another, including, but not limited to, a brand new hard drive (designated for iphoto only) crapping out after only using it twice.  Ugh. Argh. Grrr!

When my initial plans were foiled, the perfectionist in me perseverated on what could have & should have been this epic review.   Nautical dress, Palm Beach island, all the kids in coordinating navy and white Polo gear…  Epic.

But instead, you’ll have to play along and pretend like I didn’t just cut and paste my head onto a model’s body, like some kind of psychopath.

Twice.  ;0

{Admiral} Set Sail Collection

But time passed and I eventually settled for an alternative idea.

Which, also did not turn out the way I had anticipated.  So I threw my hands up in the air and said “I freaking give up!”.

Because, apparently, the universe doesn’t care if I gather clever props from around the house…

I mean, let’s face it, my feet are going to end up in my teal Okabashis anyway!

And even if I can manage to get some headshots in (which defeats the purpose of putting the dress on),

the reality of what’s happening is this…

And as I sat there with Mia, in our coordinating outfits, I just had to laugh.  Its funny, really, how perceptions are manipulated by what we intentionally portray.  I mean, I posted this for {this moment}…

which is actually quite deceptive because despite what everyone assumed, this is what they were actually doing…

I know.  Your mind is blown!   ;0

Listen, if I’m going to try to be anything, I’m going to try to be authentic.  I realized that the initial grandiose ideas I had simply didn’t represent the reality of my life as it is today.  I mean, I love this dress.  I love it more than any other dress I own.  But, I chose this dress for the life that I live in my head, the part of my life I experience maybe a few times a month, not the diapers and dishes that reflect my daily duty.

I realized how unglamorous my life actually is.  I mean, it always inevitably happens… I put a dress on, and the kids swarm me, wanting to know “Where are you going?” and “What are you doing?” which is followed by “Why can’t I come with you?”.  Does that sound like I spend my days strolling around Palm Beach island ?

So, the last idea I had for this review was to wear the dress for an entire day, to see how it would hold up on a typical day of cuddling and cleaning and chaos…

(and cuteness)…

But despite my best intentions to even do that, turns out nursing is not an option in that dress.  So, 10 minutes later, I was in my sweats, nursing, and editing photos for this post.  This, my friends, is as authentic as it gets…

Unless, I add a picture of what I look like when I read people’s facebook status updates…

How’s that for authentic?  Ha!  Not to mention, attractive!  ;0

This was the beginning of an exciting idea for me…

The idea of working with a company that uses recycled labels, and is known for being a “Couture with Conscience” company.  Little did I know that there would be lessons embedded in this experience; lessons on simplicity and authenticity.

I wanted to experience the company, the product, and the customer service for myself, before telling you how this company’s philosophies fit in with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality.  Now I can’t say that they’re in complete alignment with Sofia’s Ideas, but I can say that I support a company that partners with Unitus, and is moving towards being more socially responsible.  What about you?

Exclusively for you, my SuperStar Sofia’s Ideas readers…

10% off code :: sofiasideas10off  

 

Sofia’s Ideas {Magic of the Mundane}

:: every ordinary moment has the potential to be extraordinary ::

Every person has something of value to share, something to teach… and each of us has something to learn.  My hope is that as we Share The Magic with each other, we will inspire each other to create, or savor, the {Magic of the Mundane} in ways we might not be able to on our own.

Please leave a comment after your submission. Thanks!

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to support my blogs, Sofia’s Ideas and Nutrition Fruition.

Just so everyone knows, I don’t make any money from blogging.  I do not take on sponsors, I do not sell ad space, but I do put my heart into it because I really enjoy it.  AND the feedback & support I get from you, my amazing community of readers, is what makes the time I put into it worthwhile.

However, with that said, I do want to clarify that I am a Wellness Coordinator (and independent distributor) with Juice Plus+/NSA, and have been with this amazing company for almost a decade.  So, if you have learned about Juice Plus+ and/or the Tower Garden from me, or either of my blogs, I would really appreciate it if you would consider me as your contact person.

You can contact me at sofias (dot) ideas (at) gmail (dot) com OR you can place your order directly on my website…

(click on picture to be redirected to Juice Plus+ website)

It would be a small gesture of support that would make a big difference for my family.

I thank you in advance for your kind attention and look forward to hearing from you soon!

Sincerely,

Sofia

We don’t often succumb to illness around here, but we do.  Despite our efforts to live a healthy lifestyle, we still have sick days here and there.  It was taking it’s toll, taking it’s turn with most of our lovies and then, eventually, me too.  Luckily for all of us, I’ve been manic and creative, and therefore energetic and patient.  Well, for the most part.

I was taking care of everyone else, trying my best to give them the tlc they craved.  Meanwhile, the ocd always flares up when vomit is involved, right?  Between the vomit, the extra laundry, the vomit, steam cleaning the mattress, the whining, and did I mention the vomit?  No?  Well… vomit, Vomit, VOMIT.  I felt it – that frustration and resentment at the universe conspiring against me!  I was on the verge of having an “I’m gonna lose it!” moment.

But just as quickly as that moment came, it passed…

and It started with crumbs.

From my little corner of the living room, I could see everything.  But my ocd just zeroed in on those crumbs.  ”How many times have I told them not to eat in the living room!?!”  I wanted to explode!  But instead, a calm came over me.  And rather than feeling overwhelmed, I felt overwhelmingly grateful.

The crumbs from those crackers were a reminder that we have kind and thoughtful children.   They volunteered to walk to the store for ginger ale and saltines, countless times, for their younger siblings.  They took the baby whenever I asked them to, without hesitation, and even put her to bed for me.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded that we no longer need an arsenal of a medicine cabinet.  In fact, our get-well toolbox is quite small.  I was reminded of how fortunate we are that someone shared Juice Plus+ with us over a decade ago.  When our lovies are sick, I’m confident that their immune systems are strong enough to overcome it without medical interference.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded that we have the best dog ever, in the history of all best dogs.  When what we need is calm and healing energy, Coltrane adds to that, instead of taking away from it (unlike the neighbor’s some).  He only barks when absolutely necessary.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded that classic, sturdy toys never lose their novelty…

… the type of toys you inherit from the cousins that came before you.  When our children needed to entertain themselves because I just couldn’t, it was heart-warming to watch them indulge in some quiet, open-ended play.  Especially when there was sentiment attached to it.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded that we have generous friends.  I was not feeling up to a trip, but the kids had already exhausted their library picks.  Luckily, they had some recent donations from a friend’s personal library.  Nothing beats boredom like a new book.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded that even though my heart aches for my mother to be with me, I still have traces of her here.  When I can’t see her or speak to her, but need to feel her presence and borrow her strength, I can simply glance at the things I inherited from her, and smile.  For that, I was grateful.

From my corner, I was reminded of how lucky we are to have a Tower Garden.  When I can barely take care of us, it’s reassuring to know that our sprouts will continue to grow no matter how much I neglect them.  For that, I was grateful.

And then I was grateful to my sister for gifting us with her hand-held steam machine, because it made cleaning the mattress so much easier.  I was grateful to the person who wrote this post, because I was able to make organic cleaning solution with what I had on hand.

I was even grateful for the discovery of new (to me) Google Chrome Apps like Do It (Tomorrow) and Springpad.  And for new Google+ friends like Shay Shaked of Technically Writing who took the time to explain things to me, in detail, when no one else even bothered to answer!

And I just kept going on and on that way, in my head.  I continued to look around, from my little corner, and allowed all these little things to fill my heart up with gratitude.  And as always, I felt thankful for Papa, for being a great partner, for his patience, and simply his presence.

And this change from overwhelmed to overwhelmingly grateful all happened in one fleeting moment, in my mind.  That’s how I found the {Magic of the Mundane} during this time of illness… and It started with crumbs.

I started a Google+ group on we teach for those who love collaborating with others in order to elevate our educations, encourage our passions, and support our endeavors.

(There it is, in the ’we teach’: newsletter 3.04.12.  Awesomeness, especially since I wasn’t expecting it!)

The goal of we teach is ”to share the tools and resources we need so that we can all learn, share, and grow as parents–and teachers–for our children”.

If you decide to join us on we teach,

don’t forget to download your free e-book

full of great ideas to use with your lovies.

It has over 30 ideas for holiday learning from we teach members!

Are you already a member of we teach?  Are you interested in becoming one?

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

Whenever we go out, people compliment us on how well-behaved our children are and want to know what our secret is.  They will even ask “Do you bribe them?  Do you threaten them?  Do you have a good behavior incentive?”  No, No, and No to all of the above.  I am not bragging (ok, maybe a little) and I am not an expert by any means, just so we are clear.

Our secret is… our kids know exactly what we expect of them when we are out.  And I keep it simple.  Upon arrival, or when we are about to walk into our destination, I pause with them and make eye contact.

Remember “The Rules”…  Inside Voices.  Listening Ears.  Walking Feet…  

What kind of voices?

Inside Voices!

What kind of ears?

Listening Ears!

What kind of feet?

Walking Feet!

They all answer in unison and they know there will be a consequence if they don’t abide by The Rules.  It rarely happens, but it happens.  When it does happen, I tell them to knock it off or they’ll get a knuckle sandwich.  The end.

Just kidding.  I mean, I do say that, but I don’t actually give them a knuckle sandwich.  It’s been years since I’ve actually had to go beyond giving them “the look”.   Actually, its quite a pleasure to be out with my lovies!  Honestly.

There is psychology behind how I state The Rules.  At some point, I learned about how our brains convert words into pictures and that there aren’t any images for negatives.  So, when you tell a child “no running” the picture that pops into their mind is of running.  Thats why I tell them what I expect, as in “walking feet”, instead of what I don’t want in “no running”.  I hope that makes sense?

Just so you know, I was young when I became a mom so I felt like I was under a microscope.  I thought people were expecting me to be a crappy parent.  And this made me very conscious of how I “looked” when we were in public.  (I got over that pretty quickly! ha!)  Once I became more concerned with how my child would turn out rather than how people (who I would most likely never see again) would judge me, it became really easy.

Reminding, and reciting “The Rules” is one way I parent with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity!

I was a freshman in high school when we met.  I lied and told him that I was sixteen and a junior.  By the time he found out, it was too late.  We were already in love.

Oh, how did he find out?  Funny you should ask.  I called him from a pay phone during my lunch period (cuz that was the sort of thing we did back then) to see if he was picking me up from school.

The bell rang and he said “Don’t you have to get to class?”

And I joked without thinking, “Nope.  Freshman privileges!”

To which he replied, “But you’re not a freshman.”

To which I replied with a “click” as I panicked and just hung up the phone.

I know.  I’m an idiot.

But like I said, it was too late.  He was already in love.

It was love at first sight… and we were inseparable from that moment on.  We just genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, it didn’t matter what or where.  We could be doing anything, everything, or nothing at all…

To “the one”…

For you, I would do anything, everything, and nothing at all…

For you, I would give anything, everything, and nothing at all…

With you, I’m happy doing anything, everything, and nothing at all…

With you, I can be anything, everything, and nothing at all…

Because of you, I can achieve anything, everything, and nothing at all…

Because of you, I know I can survive anything, everything, and nothing at all…

Thank you for loving me through anything, everything, and nothing at all…

Homeschooling at its finest…

this is just one way Papa makes {Magic of the Mundane}

We learned from very early on that if we put it to music, the kids can learn anything.  I make up silly songs for everyday things, but I put them to tunes I already know.  I’ll just sing “It’s time to brush your teeth” to The Farmer in the Dell, that sort of thing.  But Papa?  Papa takes it to another level because he will take the time to come up with an original beat and song for the same task.  And one of my absolute favorites is his original and upbeat “It’s time to brush your teeth”.

I’ll have to somehow coerce him to let me share that with you one day.  I’ll use my feminine wiles on him.  Maybe that will even inspire another magical moment!  Hee! Hee!  ;0

Sofia’s Ideas {Magic of the Mundane}

:: every ordinary moment has the potential to be extraordinary ::

Every person has something of value to share, something to teach… and each of us has something to learn.  My hope is that as we Share The Magic with each other, we will inspire each other to create, or savor, the {Magic of the Mundane} in ways we might not be able to on our own.

Please leave a comment after your submission. Thanks!

My 3 year old made me a teal lightsaber for my birthday.  It’s a lightsaber made out of a paper towel roll.  And it’s teal!

Children really do learn what they live, don’t they?  Waking up to this on my birthday made me realize that my children really are learning all about Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!  And that?  That was a gift in itself.

a {snippet}

I am ridiculously excited about the {Magic of the Mundane} series, and am looking forward to everyone’s contributions.  I really believe that “it takes a village” and that every person has something of value to share, something to teach… and each of us has something to learn.  My hope is that as we Share The Magic with each other, we will inspire each other to create, or savor, the {Magic of the Mundane} in ways we might not be able to on our own.

I hope that each of you reading this knows that I sincerely want you to participate and contribute in any way you can.  There are no rules (as of now).  Share a single photo, or a collection, with or without a caption or explanation.  Post a short video, or a song.  Link to a new blog post, or one from your archives.  The limitations are really only in our minds.

I also want to encourage those of you who do not have blogs of your own to participate as well!  Did you know that you can simply link to something you have posted elsewhere such as Google+, Facebook, Twitter, etc.?

For example, for a Facebook photo:

1.  On the photo’s pop-up screen, click on edit.

2.  Set the photo to “public”.

3.  Copy the url.  Voila!

How do you see yourself contributing?

So, many of you are here with me because you became a “friend” of mine through the Google Friend Connect widget.  It’s sorta been the standard.  Unfortunately though, Google Friend Connect is being retired…

“We’re retiring the service for all non-Blogger sites on March 1, 2012. We encourage affected sites to create a Google+ page and place a Google+ badge on their site so they can bring their community of followers to Google+ and use new features like Circles and Hangouts to keep in touch. “

What does that mean?  It just means that if you primarily “follow” Sofia’s Ideas via Google Friend Connect, you’ll want to subscribe to the RSS feed.  You can also “like” Sofia’s Ideas on Facebook, “follow” on Twitter, or “add to circles” on Google+.

And just so you know, I love the Google+ platform!  Just sayin’.

Some Simplicity…

Sofia’s Ideas
on Google+

{Magic of the Mundane}

Forever ago, I wrote a post called Magic of the Mundane.  My intention, even back then, was to make it a weekly series and link up.  Like many Sofia’s Ideas, it got lost somewhere along the way, hidden underneath a pile of perfectionism and procrastination.  But like I said, I’m reclaiming my awesome this year; part of that is regaining my personal integrity by making good on my promises.

Along with my Hour of Power, our weekly mommy & me-s eventually became a non-priority.  I found myself saying “not today, tomorrow” or “next week instead” but tomorrow or next week never came… for me or for them.  And the days and weeks and months passed, and I wondered where the time went and how I allowed it to pass me by.

I got caught up in doing the unimportant and inconsequential things, the never-ending list of things that fight for mama’s attention.  But life is incredibly short, and we never know how much time we have with the people we love.  When we “begin with the end in mind“, we shift our focus away from the inane details of daily life, and towards what makes life actually worth living.

But its not even about carving out “quality time”.  Its simply about being in the moment, consciously connecting, and being mindful that every ordinary moment has the potential to be extraordinary…  It’s about deepening our relationships and appreciating the life and love we have been blessed with… simply by making Magic of the Mundane.

I hope that you will join me here on Sofia’s Ideas, every Monday, to share how you created a magically mundane moment, or simply savored one that unfolded on its own…

Share your snapshot, snippet, story, scenario, song, or short video starting next week, Monday February 13, 2012.

Please grab a button for your post…

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

I know.  I’m a granola head.  But I’m a granola head that grew up with Nutella.  Yummy Delicious Goodness.  It’s World Nutella Day.  How could I not share my recipe for Nutella Funnel Cake?  I mean, really.  That’d just be silly.

Chocolate Hazelnut Funnel Cake

Ingredients ::

• 3 organic eggs
• 1/4 cup sucanat (or sugar)
• 2 cups organic milk
• 3/4 cup chocolate hazelnut spread (Nutella)
• 3 1/2 cups organic all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons organic baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 3 teaspoons chocolate hazelnut powder (Ghirardelli)

for frying ::

• organic sunflower or canola oil

for topping ::

• 1/4 cup organic powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon chocolate hazelnut powder
• melted chocolate hazelnut spread (optional)

Directions ::

1.  In a large mixing bowl, beat eggs & sugar with a hand mixer.  Add milk & Nutella, continue beating until well blended.

2.  Add dry ingredients, beat until smooth.

3.  While oil heats in pan, pour batter into a squeezie bottle.

4.  Squeeze batter into oil in random swirls.  Brown on both sides for 20-30 seconds. Drain on paper towels.

(Note :: Mini funnel cakes are easier to flip over, are crispier, and just plain cuter.)

5.  Combine dry toppings.  Melt Nutella.  Bedazzle funnel cakes with one or both.

This batch of batter makes a ton of mini funnel cakes so I encourage you to take some over to your neighbors, meet new people, and spread the love on World Nutella Day!

February 5, 2012 :: World Nutella Day

join the fun…

World Nutella Day

Ms. Adventure’s in Italy

Bleeding Espresso

Thank you, Kristen, for your inspiration.

This is a letter I sent to a friend,

a parent of a newly diagnosed ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) child seeking my advice,

edited for privacy protection with permission…

This is a hard subject for me to approach with people at this time in my life.  After all these years, I am still very emotional about it; sometimes just by sharing my thoughts and opinions, I think I can inadvertently hurt people’s feelings.  My hope is that it’s my heart you can see in this…

One of the things I try not to do is say “I know how you feel”, because no matter how similar our experiences are, everyone responds differently and develops different philosophies.  So although I’ve been through the experience of this journey with ASD, and I can empathize, I can not know how you are truly feeling.  All I can do is say “I’m here if you need anything” and share my story…

My 2 oldest are both ASD kids, but my oldest, my son Arcane, is the one with the Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis.  The only reason he got that diagnosis so early on (at 4 yrs old) is because I knew that’s what it was, and I pursued it until I finally found a neurologist that wasn’t scared to give that diagnosis that early.

Most Aspies don’t get their diagnosis until later on for the very reasons you outlined – intellect, compensatory/adaptive skills, etc.  They even get misdiagnosed, and therefore entered into virtually useless therapy programs.  But believe me, it was clear at 4 yrs old, that’s what it was, and I didn’t want to waste time with the wrong services.

I don’t know how much you know about our journey, but to make it short, I became very involved with autism.  I had tunnel vision with it so I learned a lot and became an advocate, not just for my kids, but other families as well, both here and in NY.  I knew how to get services, I was at school almost everyday at one point, I started my own support group, and spoke at different events.  I was the mom that knew my children’s IEPs inside & out, I knew the laws, I knew how to make sure the schools were in compliance.

HOWEVER, after all of that, after all those years of micromanaging, I ended up homeschooling.  And I did NOT want to homeschool.  EVER.  Yet here I am.  Why?

When Arcane was to go into middle school, I was fortunate to have a letter of recommendation for Arcane to enter the newest & best program available.  And it truly was awesome!  That is, it was awesome for what it was.  What do I mean by that?

Well, when I saw what the actual results of the program were, I had to take a step back and re-evaluate everything, including my own mindset.  The program was top notch, the teachers were dedicated, but yet Arcane was depressed.  His self-esteem, which we had worked so hard to build up (during that 1 year of homeschooling we had previously done), was once again dwindling.  And fast!

When I really thought about it, the inherent message in the school system’s approach, no matter how well-designed or well-intentioned, is that :: You are not normal.  You have a problem.  We need to fix you.

It is what it is.

His self esteem is better now, but it took a lot of work to undo the damage.  Don’t get me wrong, I sincerely believe the schools did the best they could.  BUT it is not what I want for my children in the long run.  I want my children to understand, and believe it in their core, that autism is only a tiny portion of what makes them, that it does not define who they are. 

And when I really thought about it, the way the school system works, the message they receive is the complete opposite of our philosophy.  The whole focus becomes on their disability, day in, day out.  Its just the way it is, and I could not waste my child’s time, or his self-worth, trying to change the school system’s ideas and approach to it.

Besides, we are such non-conformists when it comes to almost everything else, why would this be any different?  I don’t want my kids to be “fixed”, or made as “normal” as possible, or to be like their peers.  Not in the way that the school tries to do it.  My kids are perfectly imperfect the way they are. 

For us, our overall top priority for all of our kids, is for them to have self-confidence.  We believe it is the best gift we can give them because it will translate to all areas of their lives.  They may not be the smartest, fastest, etc. but if they have the confidence in themselves, they can do anything!  That is our parenting philosophy, the one we came to even before we had our first child, its just our opinion.  And the reason I am sharing it with you is so you can understand why we would pull our kids out of amazing schools/programs that we had worked so hard to get them into, and give up the IEPs we had worked so hard to create.

We finally realized that the best schools and services, no matter what, just were not in alignment with what we wanted for our kids.

It got to the point where Arcane thought “cuz everyone thinks I’m a retard, so I must be one!” and “its because I have autism!!!”.  Low point.  The thing about middle school is that they try to “teach” our kids to be “normal”, how to fit in, because “socialization” is so huge at that age.  But while the intention is honorable, the results were disastrous.  His whole school life, and therefore his life, was centered around his Asperger’s Syndrome.  And what I want my kids to know, like I said before, is that it is only a small part of what makes them who they are.

It took forever for Arcane to finally understand that being ARTistic, not AUTistic, is a much bigger part of who he is.  That being half Indonesian, having a passion for cooking and architecture, etc. is a much bigger part of who he is compared to autism.  And its because for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, it was all about his autism.

The best piece of advice I can give you, is the only piece of advice no one ever gave me in all our years :: Before you immerse yourself in trying to get the right services & programs, figure out what you ultimately would want for your child.  Then, find out how to make that happen.

What normally happens is that we get caught up in fighting for what they deserve, their rights, etc.  We get caught up in finding the best of what is available to us, rather than figuring out if what is best for our child is even available through the avenue we are on.

Having a mission statement for your child would help you stay in alignment with what you desire for his life.  Part of ours is that they do not see any obstacles to what they want to achieve in life, especially not their ASD.

Its not just about right now, about tests & grades & diplomas, its about long-term.  When you start reading about the statistics on Aspies in college & adulthood, you question whether the current system takes into consideration that our kids will turn into adults that need to make their own way.  And happiness and self-confidence are a huge part of what “well-adjusted” looks like.

Don’t get me wrong, raising a teen with Asperger’s Syndrome is proving to be a BIG challenge.  But I wholeheartedly believe and know that he is way better off being homeschooled rather than being in a school, no matter how great the program is, or how “integrated” the school is.  No matter what anybody says, they were all (teachers & students) looking at him like he’s a “retard” and he is not.  Not even close.

My son was reading by the time he was one.  In his high chair, when we said “is it yummy? is it good?” expecting him to say “good”, he said “its absolutely delicious!”  I kid you not.  Does that sound like a “retard” to you?  (BTW, I HATE when people use “retard” or “retarded” in a callous manner, it makes me cringe!!!)

But the focus in school becomes about their weaknesses, not their strengths.  That is not a minor tragedy for our kids.

Arcane is an Aspie – at the very least, intelligent enough to pick up on the underlying message, sensitive enough to allow it to change his feelings, and perseverated on all of it until it consumed him and affected his ability to learn, let alone enjoy learning.

That is why the Thomas Jefferson Education philosophy is perfect for him.

Believe me, I’m not at all suggesting you homeschool and that it is the only route.  Homeschooling was a BIG decision that required BIG sacrifices and required a huge paradigm shift for me.  That is where our journey led us.  I can not stress that enough.

Only you can decide what you think is best for your child, according to your parenting philosophy, and what your goals are for him.  I am just sharing our story because when I tell you that putting him in that middle school program is one of my biggest regrets, I am not exaggerating.  It is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made as a parent.

I know there are private schools, there are schools that cater to Aspies out there, even in our county.  I just personally didn’t want that to make up my child’s world.  I want to broaden his horizons, not limit them.  And none of the school scenarios look anything like the real world to me.  But that is a whole other thing in itself.

Again, I really hope that you understand where I’m coming from with this.  I know that you are not someone who takes offense easily or is judgmental at all but I run into a lot of people who are.  ASD and homeschooling are both topics that people have very strong feelings on, and when you roll ‘em both into one?  Well, you can imagine the criticism I get at times.

I wish people would understand that my decisions are, in no way, a personal commentary on their life.

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

I’ve had a handful of requests for more information about our control journals so I figured another post would be helpful.

I have my day split up into 6 segments ::  Hour of Power, Morning Routine, Homeschool, Afternoon Routine, Evening Routine, and Bedtime Routine.  The kids have Morning, Afternoon, and Evening Routines.  Let’s focus on one segment at a time…

Control Journals :: Morning Routines

What is a morning routine?

1.  It is a short list of the things we want to accomplish as soon as we open our eyes in the morning.

2.  It consists of tasks we all need to carry out before we can leave the house, do an activity, and/or homeschool.

Why have a morning routine?

I’m an early bird and my body rises on its own at 5am every morning.  My best thinking hours are sometime before my eyes open until about 9am; its during these hours that I’m the most productive.  I maximize this time by doing my Hour of Power immediately.

1.  It helps us all be prepared for the day ahead.  It doesn’t matter if we have anything planned or not – we are all ready for whatever we have scheduled (a field trip) or any surprises (a neighbor needs help) that come our way.

2.  Our family consists of some early birds & some nocturnal ones.  Nevertheless, I believe that an established Morning Routine habit will serve our children well throughout their lives.  My hope is that they will apply this principle in higher education, in business, and in family life.  It is also the foundation on which we build our other routines.

How do we execute a Morning Routine?

We had an open discussion during a family meeting; decided that the whole family would have the same basic morning routine, but with different assigned morning chores.  Everyone has their individualized morning routine in their own control journal.

1.  I reclaim my awesome while the kids are still asleep.  If they wake up, they get to have their sunshine baskets until its time to get our day started.  Once I have done my Hour of Power and am dressed to the shoes, I open up my computer and check my calendars (more on that later).

2.  While I make breakfast, the kids pull out their control journals and get their days started.  We sit down to eat together, discuss the agenda for the day, but then excuse ourselves when we are done so we can continue to independently move through our routines.

Aslan’s Morning Routine:

⃞ Make bed
⃞ Breakfast jursidiction
⃞ 8am Healthy breakfast, Juice Plus+
⃞ Clean up area, dishes in dishwasher
⃞ Brush teeth ⃞ Wash eyeglasses
⃞ Get dressed to the shoes
⃞ Brush & style hair
⃞ Hot Spots (2 min.)
⃞ Room Patrol (5 min.)
⃞ Morning Chores (15 min.)

Note :: Aslan is 10 years old now.  She has essentially grown up with a control journal, but still needs gentle (ahem) nudging because she is a night owl.

You can download our toddler and preschool routines HERE.

While they finish up, I facilitate the boys and tend to the baby.  We meet again at 9:30am for “table time”.  If they finish before then, they are allowed to have quiet free time.  Sometimes, I ask them to keep an eye on the baby so I can finish up.

Our mornings are now, for the most part, quite peaceful.  What about yours?  Confess – chaotic or calm?

Stay tuned as I continue to share more on the other segments of our day!

I’ve learned that journaling is instrumental for my mental health.  I’m not always able to work through my initial reactions and emotions by the process of thought alone.  There are times when I say “I can’t physically calm down!” and it certainly resembles an anxiety attack.

But what I’ve learned is that the writing process, the physical movement of hand, pen, paper, pauses…

is therapeutic in itself…

let alone the unfolding of thoughts in a natural, steady pace

that always eventually brings me to a better place…

even if it isn’t until fifteen pages deep.

Typing, blogging, talking… its just not the same, its not enough, not for me. 

I’m a writer, I write.

photo via photobucket :: 2farjensen

Writing brings me from chaos to calm, from panic to persistence, from angry to apathetic to anxious to anticipating whats to come. 

Writing takes me from frustration to formulation, from confusion to compassion, from hate to heal.

Writing takes me from from ocd to optimistic, from sad to strong, from defeat to defiance.

And its because of writing that I went from giving up, to not giving a shit, to giving it my all.  It reminded me of the fundamental truth that I can not control or change anyone or anything but myself.  It all begins with me, then us, then our family.  And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it would alleviate so much stress if I would stop skipping over the “me” part.

I made a decision that I am reclaiming my “awesome” in 2012.  This year is all about waking up every single day feeling full of awesome!  I have to begin with me.  I have to invest in Sofia.  Nothing is more important than cultivating the “self”.  I have to fill up my own tank, before I can give of myself, otherwise all my husband and children will have is me – on empty.  I have to put on my own oxygen mask; how can I save them if I’m gasping for air myself?

And that’s where I’ve been – running on empty and trying to just have enough to make it to the next destination, the next day.  I’ve been suffocating, yet wondering why I can’t breathe life into my marriage.  I’ve been lost, trying to map out the way for my children.

So, for the last two weeks, I’ve been writing again.  Just me and my cup of black tea.  No intention, no premeditation, no forethought… just my pure, unadulterated truth.   And when I’ve said all I needed to say, written all that I’ve felt moved to write, I end it with “Today is a new day filled with infinite possibilities…”

It centers me, it steadies me, it readies me for the day ahead.  Its how I fill myself up.  Its how I’ve been reclaiming my “awesome”.

Typing, blogging, talking… its just not the same, its not enough, not for me. 

I’m a writer, I write.

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

Let me begin by saying that Green Hour is not one of Sofia’s Ideas.  I picked up this idea while I was cruising through Little eco footprints.  I loved the thought of “time for unstructured play and interaction with the natural world.”  So I immediately committed to making this a part of our daily routine, rain or shine.

But, when I posted my lil’ lovies control journal pages last week, a few of you asked why I had two Green Hours incorporated into their routines.  Great question!  The answer is simple.  One Green Hour is for me, one is for them.

In the morning, the kids go out for Green Hour while I get stuff done around the house and chat with Papa while he prepares lunch.  They just do whatever, they do what kids do.  Ride their bikes, climb some trees, dig some holes and bury stuff.  Sometimes, they put Mia in a stroller and take her for a walk around the lake.  This Green Hour is for me and my sanity.  An hour to myself, sort of.  I open the front door and in my Finding Nemo kind of way, I say “Now go have an adventure!”

In the afternoon, we all go out for Green Hour together, in theory.  I won’t lie, sometimes I just don’t wanna.  What my mind wants to do is “catch up”; I want to get stuff done while they are outside.  But the kids nudge, I go, and I’m always glad I did.  Always.  Every. single. time.

Being outside, in nature, no matter the weather, is good for us, in so many ways.  Yes, we all know that physical activity and fresh air is good for our health, but there is so much more to it.  There is something intagible there, that happens, when we take a break from the distractions of our responsibilities, obligations, to-do lists, goals, gadgets, and screens… and allow ourselves to JUST BE.

For an hour a day, I try to forget about time, forget about schedules, agendas, activities.  Let go of what I should be doing, and tune into the world around me…

breathe in deeply the fresh air, take note of what I smell…

close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, or the raindrops falling on my head

look up at the sky and find shapes in the clouds… then, as if by magic, I find myself entering and connecting to my children in their worlds!

Take off your shoes, feel the ground under your feet – grass, snow, soil, or sand…

then run, hop, skip, jump, chase, hoola hoop, or roll down a hill…

sing, dance, pretend, play chinese jumprope, climb, swing, or splash!

Follow a bug, see what lives under that rock, witness something peculiar, find the best hiding place in the history of all hiding places!

See what you normally fail to notice, hear what you normally turn a deaf ear to, feel what you normally are numb to…

Soak it all in, let it fill you up in that mental, emotional, and spiritual way.  Even if for just one (Green) hour.

Hhhmmm… I guess I was mistaken.  Both Green Hours are for me afterall!  ;0

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

One of the best things I ever did as a mom was make my children their own Control Journals.  I have had a control journal (home management notebook) for about a decade now.  But for the kids, I always had all kinds of schedules and charts and checklists.  None of them lasted for very long before I just had to come up with a new version.

photo via greenroomeco.com

Then several years ago, Aysia asked “Well how come we don’t have control journals like you?”

I paused and said “Well I don’t know, but that’s a great idea!  Do you want one?” *doh*

They have had a gazillion versions over the years.  As our lives go through phases, our control journals reflect our needs at the time, but the basic core of the routines remain the same.

Their actual journals are just binders, each in their own color.  (More about that here, in case you missed it.)  These Green Room binders are my favorite to date.  They last a really long time, are eco-friendly, and available at our local Target.  I fill each with a few paper condoms (sheet protectors).  And they each get a dry-erase marker in their color.

Personally, I just make the routines up on my computer and print them up.  In the past, I’ve had the kids make their own on construction paper, with stickers and glitter and stamps – the whole shabang!  So you can certainly do it however you want to.  I just find it easier to have them in my documents so I can update them easily.

I can not even begin to tell you how much simpler life is with these doodads!  Really, can’t stress it enough!

photo via greenroomeco.com

Feel free to download these copies of our current control journal pages to use as a framework to create your own.  Have fun with it.  The more you involve your family members in the creation of their control journals, the more likely they are to actually use them.

This is Brixton’s, with pictures ::

Sofias Ideas Toddler Routine

This is Dhimas’, without pictures ::

Sofias Ideas PreK Control Journal

The older kids now have complete control over creating their control journals, but their routines have to fit our family framework.  I hope that makes sense?

What tools do you use in your family to stay on top of things?

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

Last week, I shared how we set out water bottles for trick-or-treaters on Halloween, instead of candy.  But I also shared my awareness that plastic water bottles are so not in alignment with Sofia’s Ideas on an Eco-Mentality.  Today, I’m sharing how to Upcycle those Plastic Water Bottles & Candy Wrappers inevitably strewn about.

This is what I meant when I said “But that is not all, oh no, that is not all!“

All we need are empty water bottles, candy wrappers, glue + water mixture, and scissors.  By simply decopauging the water bottles, we have the foundation for several different crafts that children can make with no (or minimal) help.

Your classic birdfeeder and planter, but with a cool new look…

organizational containers… for the little things boys tend to collect…

and for girls with their hair accessories & trinkets & “tiny adorable preciousnesses”…

Remember that sneak peak? where I showed you the scale of these itty bitty cuties?

How about turning those rosettes into a mini topiary?

Use one of those decopauged bottles as a vase for either the mini topiary…

or the classic paper flower, this time made with candy wrappers instead…

But my favorite, of course, is more educational.  For us, an addition to our simple, frugal, and green homeschooling arsenal, but great for any home with lil’ lovies… color matching containers to use with whatever you have around.  We have all sorts of stuff to color sort – rainbow pasta, plastic bottle caps (of course), and colored craft sticks…

The possibilities, really, are quite endless…

Pom poms are always fun to sort!  As you can see here, sometimes its irresistible…

to put all those little “puffles” in their place…

But that is not all, oh no, that is not all!

Stay tuned for even more on celebrating Halloween with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

Just a Sneak Peak of what I meant when I said

“But that is not all, oh no, that is not all!“

The {Sofia’s Ideas} Frugality Series

The Stages

There was a Hidden Cost to my Frugality; the cost was the deterioration of my health.  That rash was the last straw for me.  I was sick & tired of being sick & tired, especially after having had the experience of optimal health.  That gave me the impetus to investigate how we could go back to living in alignment with our philosophy – that investing in quality is synonymous with investing in our health, and our futures.

I’ve had to find a balance between being frugal and still living in alignment with that philosophy.  Its been a journey.  I look at my journey, thus far, as having four stages…

Stage 1 :: I Know Nothing

(or the “I’m a closet huffer so I buy whatever smells good” phase)

This stage began from the time I left home, until Aysia’s ASD diagnosis.  During this stage, I didn’t even know enough to question quality or safety.  I figured, “if they make it and sell it, it must be safe to consume, right?”  I also didn’t think in terms of a budget.  If we had it, I could spend it.  There was no focus during this phase.

Stage 2 :: I Know Everything

(or the know-it-all “Organic without Abandon” phase)

This stage began with our commitment to only non-invasive treatments (including dietary intervention, chemical & metal detoxification) until Papa was downsized from his job.  During this stage, I purchased Organic without Abandon.  Whatever our family needed, I bought the organic or natural version.  Money was of absolutely no object.  I didn’t look at prices.  Ever.  The focus during this phase was solely on quality.

Stage 3 :: Scarcity Mentality

(or the “if we become homeless at least we’ll have 2 years worth of toothpaste” phase)

This stage began from the time of our sudden & dramatic financial change, until that rash.  During this stage, I completely abandoned the mindset I had developed in Stage 2.  I was in survival mode; learning how to use coupons to create a stockpile.  If I couldn’t get it for free or for cheap, I made it myself or did without.  The focus during this phase was solely on quantity and price.

Stage 4 :: Abundance Mentality

(or the current phase I’m in)

This stage began the day of that rash, and is still currently running.  I’m becoming an increasingly mindful and intentional consumer.  I’ve learned that there is very little that we actually need.  I’ve learned that if we are willing to revisit our ideas on what is necessity, and what is superfluous, we will be surprised at the quality & quantity we can actually afford.  The focus now is on quality, quantity, and price. 

We have a choice.  We can pay now or pay later.  We can either choose to invest in our health or choose to subsidize our illness.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing what we actually purchase and use in our home today – from food to clothes to sundries… all in alignment with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

What about you? Do any of the stages resonate with you?  What are you most looking forward to reading about?  and why?

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

I’ve been asked this before, but never posted anything on Sofia’s {Ideas}.  So today, I’m going to answer the question :: “If you guys are all healthy & natural & organic & stuff, what do you do about Halloween?“  Good question, simple answer :: water.

Hey, I told you we were that family.  But, I’m not preaching about the detriment of chemical laden “treats” because all you may hear is “sugar bad  blah blah blah  immune system  blah blah blah  holier than thou” right?  All I’m doing is sharing what we do.

I felt like a hypocrite giving out candy and I saw there was a need here.  Like I said before, it gets hot in those costumes.  And these kids get thirsty!  And a lot of the time, mom’s hands are too full of the cumbersome swords & wands & things to even think about carrying drinks, soooo …

Our "Happy Halloween" Door Sign

In years past, I printed this on copy paper, then slipped it into a paper condom (sheet protector) before taping it to our door.  This year, I’m laminating it.  I have an orange metal bin that I fill with water bottles.  How are plastic water bottles eco-friendly?  Well, they’re not.  But I have a solution for that too, which I will be sharing.  Soon.

We’ve done this for several years now; I find it to be more simple & frugal than what we used to do.  And I’m not giving out fruit or homemade treats that parents won’t feel safe with.  Those things end up just going to waste.  But water bottles, I’d like to think, are actually appreciated and consumed, as children continue on their trick-or-treating.  No matter the weather where you live, kids need water, especially on Halloween.  So, if you feel compelled, be that family, be that house, and feel good about it.  We do!

If you would like to share, please share a link back to this post or my blog,

rather than a link to the pdf itself.

FREE to download ::

 HalloweenWaterSign.SofiasIdeas

Setting out water bottles for the children that make their way to our door is a healthy Halloween alternative that is in complete alignment with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity…. all with an Eco-Mentality!  

But that is not all, oh no, that is not all!  Stay tuned…

a {snippet}

Autumn Sensory Bin

Autumn Sensory Bin

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Did I ever mention I failed home economics?  Not once, but twice?  Oh, but if my teacher could see me now…

Batik Napkins

I think she’d be kinda proud of me.  Shoot, I’m proud of me!

In fact, I think they look so nice, I’ll show you twice!

.

Listen, I know for those of you who know your way around a sewing machine, this is nothing to brag about.  But for me?  This was HUGE!  I was so proud of myself that I stood back and shouted “Look what I have created!“  Tom Hanks style…

 I kid you not.

I really did that.

But without the fire.

And I meant it!

Ah, heck – three time’s a charm!  Hee! Hee!

.

btw, this has been on my to-do list since 5 Simple & Frugal Additions to Dining Simplicity.  Yeah, it took me that long!  But you know what?  These are surprisingly easy to make, will save you tons of money on paper goods, are super pretty (especially if make them to your liking or to match your decor), and not to mention so much better for our planet than the disposables.  Therefore, reusable cloth napkins are in complete alignment with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality! 

And yes, thank you for noticing that these too are color coded!

When was the last time you were really proud of something you made?  I’d love to hear about it!  Or better yet, if you have a link, please share it below! 

National Costume Swap Day

 Saturday, October 8, 2011

We will not be participating in National Costume Swap Day.  (Gasp, I know!)  Well, we’re not into Halloween costumes that you buy at the store.  Yes, we do have a spiderman & superman ensemble lying around here, maybe even a leftover princess gown from back in the day.  But for the most part, I make these kids put together their own costumes (more on that below).  Because for one thing, store-bought costumes are pretty ugly & cheaply made.  Another thing, and the biggest reason, is that they do not make costumes for children that live in warm climates!  (Well, not ones that don’t make them look like little hoochies anyway!  Why is that?)  I’ve been saying for years that they need to come out with a line with cool, breathable fabrics, specifically for those of us who experience summer year round.  How’s that for a Sofia’s Idea?

5 Sofia’s Ideas on Simple, Frugal, and Green Halloween Costumes

1.  Hand Me Downs.  Like when Aysia was a nurse, she simply borrowed my sister’s scrubs.  Obvious, I know, but I mean you can use hand me downs & work your magic on them to turn them into something unexpected!  Let the kids raid your & each others’ closets for inspiration.  You might just want to make sure they run things by you before they take a scissor to anything.

2.  Thrift Store.  I give my kids a budget (a miniscule one, like $5 each) and take them to the thrift store.  This especially helps when they still have no clue what they want to be.  Sometimes a certain hat or gadget will spark their imaginations!  Like when Aslan was some kind of punky brewster type of fairy princess, she put the whole thing together herself and had a ton of fun doing it.

3.  Garage/Basement/Attic.  Aside from a dusty moldy chest of old garbs, what else do you have down/up there?  I wish I had a picture of Arcane’s first costume; my mom turned an old couch foam into a slice of Swiss cheese!  Yup, she also made him the mouse costume, and the cheese is where he held the candy.  Pure Awesome.

photo via photoshopessentials.com

4.  Originals.  If you have the ability and the time, head over to the thrift store and see if there are any sheets, rugs, gowns, etc. that will spark your creativity!  There’s nothing like a costume that mama made, an original, one that you know 5 other kids will not be wearing too!

5.  Anything or Everything.  Seriously, just put on anything!  I’ve never understood why we have to buy brand new Halloween costumes every single year.  Especially when the costume choices don’t vary much from year to year.  One year, my mom cut out holes in a giant leaf bag and I went trick-or-treating as a garbage bag.  I still got candy.  And I didn’t need an umbrella.  Or tell them to put on everything they own!  One year, Aslan put on rainbow socks, a tutu, a floral crown, and a wand along with different shades & patterns of pink and she looked adorable!  AND she loved it!

The point is, you have choices.  You don’t have to go with store-bought if you don’t want to.  You don’t have to spend a lot of (or any) money.  You don’t even have to sew an extravagant original!  You just have to be resourceful and creative and playful.  Keep it simple, keep it frugal, and minimize waste all at the same time.  That’s how we do Halloween with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

You can also click here for more information on how to “green” your Halloween!

What are your thoughts on Halloween costumes?  Is Halloween a big deal in your family?

Personally, Halloween is not a huge deal in our house.  I’ve even gotten a few snarky looks in the past from those who judge my parenting by the absence of plastic bats & spiders & skeletons on my patio.  However, this year I will finally attempt to make (yes, sew!) our family’s costumes.  In fact, the older kids will be designing and sewing their own.  Fingers crossed.

transparency

there is no more anonymity

my daily life is witnessed now

the who, what, when, where, and the how

between who I am, and what I present myself to be

there can be no discrepancy

accountability

transparency

I have issues, you have issues, we all have issues.  Established.

I have to be honest, it was such a relief to post my picture.  It was, not surprisingly, a weight off.  Papa said he noticed a physical difference in me.  “You look… lighter.”

Phew!  Thanks.  I think.

OK, now that we got that out of the way, and I’m ready to be more transparent, I can finally do away with all the pseudonyms! And I can finally publish an About Me page…

I was once told that I was the type of person that could think of more ideas in 3 minutes than anyone could ever possibly execute in 3 years!  I admit, it’s true.  I’m constantly bombarding my husband with ideas.  Some days it gets to the point where he just rolls his eyes and says, “Oh boy, here we go!”  In fact, starting a blog is just another one of Sofia’s Ideas.

As I looked back on my life, and reminisced about all of the ideas I had (both lost and tossed), the various phases of life experiments, and all the extremes I’d gone to, I realized the one thing that had been a constant for me was writing.  I’ve had a journal since I learned to write and so I guess blogging just seemed like it might be a good fit.   And for the past few years, I’ve been moving my family towards a more simple, frugal, and green existence.  This is what I am passionate about now.  Hence, Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality.

♥♥♥♥♥

I’m a girl who grew up aspiring to stay single, have a loft in Manhattan, and be an anthropologist traveling the world.  I never imagined a domestic life with children because quite frankly, I didn’t think I’d be very good at it.  But, as a high school freshman, I met the one.  It was love at first sight.  And now I’m “mamos” to six lovies…

Arcane, Aysia, Aslan, Dhimas, Brixton,

and our newest (and last) addition…

Mia.

And this is me

 and

 the one

and last but not least,

Coltrane,

the best dog ever. in the history of all best dogs.

Arcane is still & will forever be exactly that – arcane.  Aysia is as zany as ever but we hardly call her by any other name than her own.  Aslan still sparkles but we’re calling her “Biggle” these days.  We hadn’t called Dhimas “Goodle” or Brixton “Bear” in ages; right now, they are otherwise known as “D-doodle” and “Munkle”.  It was confusing for me to write with pseudonyms, especially with everyone’s nicknames in a constant state of evolution.  This is just so much easier, for me and for you.

What do you guys think?  I still have reservations but… How do you feel about using real names & showing faces on blogs?

Have I said this before?  That I’ve been accused of being “a ridiculously hard nut to crack”?  That I don’t let many people in?  That I don’t like that feeling of being vulnerable? that feeling of being exposed?  Yeah, well, that feeling? That feeling makes me sweat.  Sometimes, profusely.

But if you’ve been with me from the beginning, then you know that is probably why this blog has been so therapeutic for me.  I put myself out there and although it took several months, it eventually felt really good.  But that didn’t stop me from taking a hiatus from time to time, now did it?  And I know why.

One of the reasons I withdraw from my life (when things aren’t perfect) is because I am emotionally naked.  (The other reason is ocd, in case you missed it.)  I am completely incapable of hiding what I’m feeling.  I don’t know how to put on a “brave” or “happy face” or how to “turn it on”.  Nope, I wear my thoughts and emotions right on my sleeve.

So when I don’t like you, you know it.  Immediately.  (Sorry!  But when I love you, you know that too.)  And when I’m upset or angry, I exude those emotions.  And I hate that whole “awh, what’s wrong?!? talk to me…” thing because I don’t like to talk.  And that always inevitably leads to this moment where this well-intentioned person thinks it has something to do with them.  Like I’m either upset with them, or that I don’t trust them enough to confide in them.  Ugh – I despise that moment.  I avoid that moment.  That moment gives me guilt.  So I don’t pick up my phone, reply to emails, and forget about me answering the door. (I made that mistake once; we now have a new UPS guy.)

And so while I have been doing all this gathering lately, I’ve been doing so with the understanding that I have hit another plateau.  I keep running around in a circle and wondering why I end up right back where I started.  So I have made a decision.  It’s time for me to be more transparent.

So…

this is me!  The Sofia behind Sofia’s Ideas.  No more being coy, hiding behind a miniature profile shot.  Nope, now you know exactly what I look like.  {Yikes!  Is it getting hot in here?  Didn’t I tell you this sort of stuff makes me sweat!?!}  I’ve also decided to make good on my promise to make Sofia’s Ideas a more personal space while I share my journey towards Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

And after over a year (sheesh!), I finally hit “publish this page” on Facebook.  So, please Please PLEASE, I beg of you – please “like” my page.  I’ll be your best friend?  Ok, you go do that now and I’ll be waiting here.  Sweating. Profusely.   ;0

My name is Sofia.  I’m 34.  I have 6 kids.  I blog.  I have issues.

The truth is, I had been looking forward to this summer for a really, really long time.  A lot has happened since I saw my mother last.  In just 2 years, I began homeschooling, started this blog, and birthed a baby girl.  And those are just the big things… let alone the magically mundane moments that memories are made of.

The truth is, it has always been my dream to have our family’s life intertwined with my parent’s.  But life didn’t unfold that way, and I haven’t been able to make it happen…  Yet.

And so when my mom announced she’d be spending this summer here, well… the ideas (as you can imagine)!!! …   I planned, and negotiated, and arranged for us to make the most of every precious moment with her.  I envisioned us listening, laughing, and learning… cooking, creating and conversing… splashing, sewing, and savoring… and simply unwinding.

But we didn’t unwind.

We unraveled.

And so while I’ve been neglecting this blog, I have been attending to my life.

Mostly, I have been…

Gathering…

I’ve been gathering… the strength to face the person who caused the gestation period that birthed this blog.  To finally tell that person how their actions affected me & my family and how I view myself & my life.  But also to say “I still love you…”

…the wherewithal to conquer my ocd, maybe once and for all, by dealing with the underlying issues that caused it in the first place.

I’ve been gathering… the humility to apologize to my friend, my soul sister… to admit that I was wrong, that I took her for granted, and that I miss her presence in my life.

…the mental and physical energy and stamina to make this be the last time I withdraw from my own life, both real and virtual.

I’ve been gathering… the courage to ask myself the really hard questions, and to ask Papa to do the same for himself.

… the gumption to stand up for myself, even if it means that everything I thought would be in my future will change.  Even if it means that I’ll have to endure life-long regret.

I’ve been gathering… reasons instead of excuses, and the willpower to finally re-invest time and energy into myself, first and foremost.

… the motivation to put into practice what I preach to others.

I’ve also been gathering… with like minded people who believe that “voting with your dollars” is more than just a phrase, and that the choices we make as consumers have a quantifiable impact in the way the world works.

You see that I’ve been gathering… supplies – like fabric, thread, baby patterns, and (OMGosh!!!) a new sewing machine.

And because of all of this, things around here have been gathering… dust.  And not just the books I had planned to read, or the felt friends I had planned to make as gifts.

but my {ideas}

and intentions

and inspiration

Ultimately, after all this “gathering“, I have once again come to the conclusion that all of this is of no consequence when what really matters most to me is Gathering with the people I love. The people that make life meaningful, whose mere presence in my life are enriching and fulfilling.

I am truly sorry… please believe that I am learning how to gather myself without disappearing and hurting you in the process…

This post is dedicated to all the people in my life that I LOVE with all my heart… you know who you are… thank you for your unconditional love and support…

On Sunday, I shared one of the many ways we reuse newspapers around here.  Now, those bookmarks are really quick & easy compared to these Plantable Greeting Cards, but don’t get discouraged!  Believe me, if I can pull this off, you can too!  (Remember, I always say that my crafting skills start and stop with a glue stick!)  It’s not that its a difficult project, but it has several steps and you must be patient since it takes a few days to get to the finished product…

Plantable Greeting Cards

The kids were really creative, coming up with both Easter and Mother’s Day shapes for their cards.  Me?  Just a standard square or rectangle as you can see below.  Bo-ring!  That’s my square on the right, and Sparkle’s Easter egg on the left.

After several botched batches, Zany and Sparkle were really proud of their Easter cards…

We also came up with a poem to mail along with the cards…

We made this card just for you

turned a newspaper into something new

Within this card are wildflower seeds

some dirt and water are all it needs

In a few weeks beauty will be found

where you planted this in the ground

I have to admit, I really love this project!  I just love handmade gifts – both giving and receiving them.  But I especially love how “green” this one is, don’t you?  And I think because these take a few days and require a bit more tlc to get them “just so”, they kinda feel a bit more special!  Just another way we spread the love in a way that fits with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

If you’ve been here from the beginning, you probably recall me promising, week after week, to show you some examples of how we reuse our newspapers.

10 newspapers hardly seems eco-conscious, you say?  Well, I agree.  It breaks my heart every time I look at the stack sitting on my dining table.  However, our family has found a few ways to reuse those newspapers, lighten our impact, and lessen my guilt.  (More on that later, I’m sure.)

Alright, so it’s way later, and its been a long time since I’ve purchased 10 papers!

There are a gazillion ways to reuse newspapers; we’re all familiar with using them to clean windows, wrap gifts, line cages, and catch paint.  And while this fun project isn’t a Sofia’s (original) {Ideas}, I thought I’d still share it since there are so many people looking for last-minute, yet thoughtful, teacher appreciation gifts.

We made these for our librarians on Valentine’s Day, inspired by these bookmarks by Pink Paper Peppermints.  We had so much fun making them!  I just love the one with the crossword showing through.  You can use different sections of the newspaper for different teachers (music, art, sports for phys ed, etc.) and replace the flowers for something relevant (musical notes, paint palette, etc.)!  The possibilities are endless!

Reusing the newspaper to make these bookmarks for gifts?  Just another way we spread the love in a way that fits with Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

They say that “the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem”.  But here’s the thing – I do admit I have a problem, and I know what I should & need to do in order to get better.  But for me, “knowing isn’t half the battle“, OCD is.

I confessed; I can’t deny I’m depressed.  I mean, half the time I’m crying I have absolutely no idea what I’m sad about.  But I don’t ever feel anything but love for her.  I enjoy the crap out of her.  Her cries never irritate or overwhelm me.  I don’t feel exhausted.  Tired?  Yes, but not exhausted, so its not even that.  But I know I have postpartum depression; I just didn’t realize that it could manifest in different ways.

And although I truly appreciate the advice coming to me at this time, I already know what I ought to do.  I already know that investing time in myself is what I need.  I’m always at my best when I make my Hour of Power a priority, eat and exercise for optimal health, write in my journal, get out of house, etc.  And “when you know better, you do better” so I should just do it, right?

Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t work that way.  For me, if something happens (a “trigger”), my automatic coping mechanism is to withdraw from life.  I withdraw because I don’t want to talk about it, and I’m self-aware enough to know that I’m a disaster at hiding my state of mind.  But mostly its because I have a dirty little secret – OCD.  I don’t want anyone to know how nuts I am so I just disappear.  When I’m hibernating, that’s what I’m doing – OCDing.  That’s how I’ve coped, as far back as I can remember.

Ocd is ever-present and always needs mental managing,  but a trigger will make it go into overdrive where it actually has an obvious & negative impact on my life & relationships.

And that’s where I am right now.  There are so many ducks that need to be aligned before I can even think about doing all those things I know I should & need to do!  And the thing is, those ducks have absolutely nothing to do with the task at hand!  Its like “How can I go for a walk right now when the kitchen grout needs its 500th treatment of hydrogen peroxide?”  At 5am?  Really, Sofia, really?

And its a ridiculous amount of ducks that take up a ridiculous amount of time!  But knowing how ridiculous it is doesn’t stop the urges.  And it drives me insane because I sincerely and desperately would love to be back in that mental space where 5am means I’m on my way out for my morning run.  And being spontaneous is not something that I need to schedule into my day.  And tranquility and simplicity is at my core rather than obsession and compulsion.

I know that I don’t have to wait until the first of the month or a Sunday to get started.  And I know that I don’t have to do my entire Hour of Power to make it count.  I know that if I go at 5:03 am instead of 5am sharp its still ok to go; that if I simply started going for morning walks around the lake, I’d be well on my way to getting out of this funk.  I know this.  But like I said, for me, knowing isn’t half the battle, OCD is.

Not a single day has passed this week where I didn’t cry at least once.  And I’m not talking about shedding a tear or two or even ten.  No, I’m talking about sitting on top of the washing machine for an hour, willing the tears to just stop already, wishing for the sorrow to subside, to absolutely no avail.

I am depressed.

And I just keep telling myself that its the hormones and that it’ll all be better in a few more weeks.  If I can just get through one more day, one more week, things will get better soon enough.

But things aren’t getting any better.  And I’m still sane enough to know that I can’t allow this to go unchecked any longer.  I know I need to reach out for help.

So I gathered the courage to finally confide my thoughts today.  I was optimistic that I would receive attention, sensitivity, patience, support, and understanding.  I thought I would walk away feeling hopeful and loved.

But instead, I still feel unloved and unimportant.  Whats worse, I now feel rejected too.

Have you ever needed help and asked for it, only to feel like the very fact that you needed help was an inconvenience? That’s how I feel.  I feel like my emotions, my resentments, my mere existence is an annoyance…

a nuisance is what I am

It was a mistake, to open up the way I did.  I went against what I knew I should have been doing, what I had been trying to do.  I should have kept it to myself, but I gave the benefit of the doubt.  It was a mistake, one I will not make again.  The message is loud and clear now.  This burden is mine to bear alone.

I’m going to scream!

… But in their defense, they were, and are, all very helpful with the baby.  On most nights, Papa completely takes the overnight shift with her.  All I have to do is nurse – he burps her, changes her, sings and plays music for her.  The kids are constantly asking if I need anything for myself or the baby, and they dote on her like you would not believe.  There is a lot of love in this house.  Its so present that I feel like I can reach out and grab some.

I came to the realization that the person who had the strongest influence on what I had been feeling was me.

I realized that Papa was adjusting just as much as I was, and that just because I was in pain and couldn’t relax enough to take a nap, didn’t mean that he shouldn’t be allowed to.  I realized that hanging curtains and repairing the hole in the shower ceiling didn’t have to happen right this second.  He did, after all, upon coming home from the hospital, surprise me with a clean (and upgraded) master suite “so you have everything you need right here and you won’t have to leave this room unless you want to”.

I realized I was being ridiculous with my expectations.  I wanted him to completely take over, and well, be me.  But he’s not me.  I wanted him to fulfill his role and mine at the same time, and that is unfair to ask of anyone.  We each bring our own strengths to the equation, and in most areas of our life we truly are partners.  (Homeschooling, however, does not fit into the “ridiculous with my expectations” or “my role” categories.  But we’ll have to save that discussion for a better time.)  Logically, I know that he never intends to hurt my feelings or take me for granted.  But at the time it certainly feels like it, know what I mean?

The thing about Papa is that if I just talk to him, he never ceases to amaze me with how much he truly wants to support me.  In fact, when I was afraid he’d be angry that I wrote about him in a negative light, his reaction was “why would I be pissed?  It’s your blog and you can and should write about whatever you want to.  Baby, I support you in whatever you do, unconditionally.”  And he always has.

And even when I freaked out on him with “enough with the f***ing facebook already!!!” yesterday & cried for 2 hours in our room, he made the kids a salad for lunch, took care of the baby while getting all the other kids dressed & ready to go.  And we left on time.  And the girls hair actually looked good!  And when he came home from work last night, I felt his hand on my leg and heard his love & concern in “hey, are you alright?”  All is forgiven.

And the kids?  Honestly, if dirty clothes on the staircase is the most frustration they cause me, then I think we are in a pretty good place.  I could not dream up better siblings for this little girl.  She is very lucky to have them.  And so am I.  I realized that I was feeling like “I just had a baby, I probably have a brain tumor, I’m in a state of constant pain and exhaustion and if that weren’t enough, why isnt anyone doing the damn dishes!?”  That was the tape playing in my head over & over – just replace dishes with laundry, sweeping, etc.  and you can see how I was driving myself nuts.

So I replaced that tape with thoughts about how Papa took such great care of both me and the baby at the hospital.  How he made me feel the most safe I’ve felt in a long time.  I felt taken care of, and that is huge for me.  I also thought about how the kids held down the fort and each other while I was away.  I thought about all the compliments we got from their caretakers, and the stories shared.  I even laughed all over again thinking about how Cuzuncle (Papa’s cousin) felt like he was on vacation while he stayed at our house – Arcane even tucked him in at night!

The truth is, I have so much more to be grateful for than I have to complain about.  And I need to focus my attention on the former, not the latter.  Perseverating on the inconsequential never made anyone a happy person, least not me.

I am sort of known for this, my circle calls it a “hibernation”.  I get depressed and I withdraw from everyone and everything.  I guess my instinct is to hide.  I don’t answer calls or emails.  I don’t even check them, to be honest.  And I don’t emerge until I’m better, even if it takes a year or more.  And then I expect everyone to just let me jump back into their lives without having to talk about it, like I never left.  And all that ever does is push people that love me away, and cause me more regret and guilt.

So I’m trying something different, especially here on Sofia’s Ideas.  Instead of taking another hiatus, I’m going back to why I started this blog in the first place – for therapeutic reasons.

I’m taking a leap of faith, hoping that writing through this (whatever “this” is) will end up being exactly what I needed once again.  Rather than waiting until I’m better, I’m hoping that forcing myself to stay connected while I’m experiencing it, at some capacity, will help me to stay connected to my life, ultimately averting another hibernation.  I’m hoping that exposing myself, the parts that have been, up until now, labeled as “too personal to share” will help “cure” me the way it did my ocd.

It causes me great anxiety to share my dark & twisty self with anyone, even Papa.  I almost always talk myself out of doing it.  But when I finally can’t take it anymore, I always preface the conversation with “I’m putting my heart in your hands… please take good care of it.”  So to write and publish what I’ve been this week?  To not only share with a trusted person, but to put it out into the universe?  I’m completely going against my nature…  Its hard for me to reach out and ask for help, even when I know I need it, so I guess this is my version of it.

© Stanislav Perov

Ya’ll have been nothing but kind to me all along.  The encouragement and support I’ve received have already helped more than you know… That’s why I feel safe putting my heart in your hands… please take good care of it…

“If one more person tells me to relax, I’m going to scream!”

His response?  That look – raised eyebrows and lips shaped in a way that’s meant to say “we can’t all be wrong… maybe you ought to listen”.

I know, I know, I get it.  The problem is that I don’t know how to relax.  Anyone who knows me, even just a little, knows that I literally do not know how to relax, yet that is exactly what they’re all prescribing.  And its not like I don’t want to, or try to heed their advice.  I do.  Not successfully, but I do.

I thought that finally being able to bring baby girl home from the hospital would alleviate my stress.  And it did.  Temporarily.  It felt good to be home, to have her there with all of us.  But the very first morning I woke up at home, I couldn’t move my head or neck, and I was in excruciating pain (and I have a very high pain tolerance).  I woke up that way for 12 days straight, with a throbbing that radiated throughout my head, neck & shoulder, before I finally felt some relief.  It actually got to the point where I wondered if it was a brain tumor or something in that vein.  My chiropractor assured me my brain was fine.  It was my disposition that needed work.

So for the first 2 weeks of having her home, after her extended NICU stay, I was in constant pain.  I had to take motrin just to ease the intensity of it enough to be able to function.  And if you know me, even just a little, you know I despise taking meds of any sort, especially when I’m pregnant or nursing.  So that only exacerbated the guilt I was already carrying around.

All that guilt just kept gnawing at me all. the. time… and it still does.

And of course I woke up everyday thinking about how I’m responsible for my children’s education, the house, the kids, the pile of paperwork on my desk with its due dates & deadlines… and Papa was sleeping all day and expecting me to be able to relax?  I woke up thinking about all the things I had to do, the things that Papa wasn’t doing, and who I’d have to delegate those things to.  Everyone says “ask for help” but I did ask for help!  I asked for help with homeschooling with “I set up these binders with 4 weeks worth of work for each of the kids, for when I have the baby, all you have to do is facilitate”, to no avail.  I asked for help with “kids, please do your morning routines and chores”, to no avail.

From oldest to youngest, they all tell me “I don’t have time”.  Nothing pisses me off more than those words, especially when I know the kids had time to watch tv or play on the wii, and Papa spent the day sucked into the vortex of the computer again!  I can not tell you how fast my blood boils when I walk into the room and I see the facebook logo on the corner of his screen!  Grrr!  That or huffington post.  I feel like taking it right off his lap and tossing it out the damn window! Argh!

And no, I am not being unreasonable.  This I know like I know like I know.  I have been more than fair and more than patient. And I have soooooo had it!  “We” made a decision that “we” would homeschool so if he has time to waste on the web, he has time to teach his kids!  And I am done talking, begging, pleading, crying, screaming, and fighting with him to participate.  I am done!  I quit!

I don’t think he understands that the weight of being the one responsible for our children’s education is heavy enough, let alone the task of carrying it out.

I wake up feeling unloved, unappreciated, lonely, and increasingly resentful.  Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself but I feel like “I just had a baby, I’m exhausted, and I’m in constant pain right now.  WTF?!!?”  I feel like I’m taking crazy pills over here!

So if one more person tells me to relax, I’m going to scream!!!

The truth is that I’m having a rough time over here.  This isn’t the newborn baby bliss that I’m used to.  I mean, I look at her and I know that I love her, I know I want to protect her, but something else is there… I just can’t put my finger on it.  To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure if I can discern whether its that there is something else there that feels like it shouldn’t be, or if its that something that should be there is missing.  All I know is that something just doesn’t feel “right”.

I know what you’re thinking – baby blues or maybe even postpartum depression, right?  After all, baby girl is not even 3 weeks old yet!  Maybe you’re right, but I’m not sure.  I had postpartum depression for about 3 months after Arcane’s birth so I know what that feels like.  I’ve also experienced postpartum euphoria so I know what that feels like.  But this?  This (whatever “this” is), I’ve never felt before.

This is my 6th baby so everyone keeps telling me “you’re a pro”; I suppose there are assumptions and expectations that go along with that.  But honestly “this” is new to me and I don’t know how to sort it out.  And at this time in my life, I don’t feel like there is anyone I can talk to, not even Papa.  And that makes me feel very alone.  Let me rephrase that – I mean, how can I possibly feel alone in a house full of people that love me unconditionally, right?  What I meant to say was, I feel lonely.

I find myself crying in my room, in the laundry room, and in the shower because I don’t want my family to see me this way.  I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want them to worry.  And that isolation just adds to my loneliness.  I mean, I have all this stuff, all this guilt I’m carrying around, all these confusing emotions I can’t understand, and I feel like I have no one to go to.  I need someone I can just talk to about it without having to filter myself or worry about being judged.  The problem is, just the thought of sharing these feelings with anyone makes me feel uncomfortably vulnerable…

When I started this blog last year, I knew at some point I’d have to answer this question: “Do you know that it is grammatically incorrect to begin sentences with but, and, & because”?  I’ve had a handful of really sweet emails from readers asking me this, from a helpful place, of course.

The answer is yes, I do know it is grammatically incorrect.  But I think that’s partially why it became such a big part of my writing style so early on.  I’m sort of rebellious by nature.  And I loved that I knew I could get away with it.  Because my teachers could see that I was a good writer, even if I didn’t follow the rules, I did get away with it for the most part.  Of course they would always correct me, and I’d have a debate with them.  Sometimes I’d have to choose between a lower grade or just following the rules, but not very often.  Most of the time, they let me do it.  And I got a kick out of it.

But it wasn’t until I started taking advanced writing courses that my defiant use of but, and, & because was validated.  I had this professor who, on the very first day, said he knew that honors students were not used to anything but A’s and 4.0′s, which is the precise reason he didn’t give them out.  Believe me, I tried to get another professor but he was the only one teaching that course.  I was stuck.  And boy, was he ever tough on us.  He stayed true to his word – only giving B+’s as the highest of marks.

He challenged us, he made us defend ourselves, he made us grow.  Honestly, he was one of those teachers you hated and loved simultaneously.  He had this way of invoking intimidation and admiration at the same time.  And I’ll never forget the day he asked me to stay after class.  He told me that he knew I was sacrificing my integrity as a writer in exchange for a high GPA.  He encouraged me to write my next paper without fear of getting a low grade.  So I did.

I wrote in the style I had been developing my whole life.  Sentences beginning with but, and, & because littered my pages.  But I was really proud of my work, and unlike all my previous papers in that class, it sounded like me.  Even though I loved what I wrote, I was not at all confident when I turned it in, a first for me.  He actually made me sit there while he graded it.  I was sweating, literally sweating the whole time!  I watched him, trying to get a read, but his facial expression stayed neutral and never gave him away.  I swallowed hard each time he made a mark, each time he turned back a page instead of forward, each time his finger traced the same space over & over.

photo via www20.csueastbay.edu

When he finally gave me back the paper, it was upside down.  He held it out to me but firmed his grip, looked me in the eyes for a moment, then let go and walked out of the room.  I was 19, I didnt know what the heck to think.  But I turned it over and saw a big red A in the corner, supposedly a first for him.  I was shocked.  I sat back in my seat, not knowing what to make of it after accepting the fact that I’d never get an A from him.  As I looked through my paper, I noticed that the only marks he made were the underlines beneath the first word of all of the sentences that began with those three words…  But, And, Because.

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

When I was a little girl, my family and I lived on the second floor of a three family house in Queens (NY).  One of my best childhood friends lived in the adjacent second floor apartment but she was virtually never allowed to play outside or over at our house.  So, we would spend hours on our balconies playing together through the metal divider.  And one of our favorite things to play was “office”.  I was a nerd, she was a nerd, what can I say?  And the metal divider made for a nice “bank” scenario.

We asked our fathers for forms from their offices, gathered anything official looking from around the house, and my mother collected all of the Subscription Postcards she could find.  It didn’t occur to me what a great tool those normally tossed out pieces of cardstock were until I began teaching my own children how to write out their addresses!  So now, I collect them from the junk mail, my magazines, etc. and the kids use them to practice writing their addresses.  Voila!

Super easy, FREE, and a great way to reuse another paper item before it leaves the house!  Just another way we apply Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

reposted in participation of Archive Dive by i made it so

this week’s topic: love

We’ve been together a long time, my husband and I, and for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been the absolute worst on holidays.  He’s always had this thing about “made up holidays” whose “sole purpose is to get you to spend money”.  Holidays that dictate when & how & on whom he should show his affection.  So that includes, but is not limited to, Valentine’s Day.

photo via exisoftware.com

In the early years, this disturbed me, I must admit.  When you’re young & in love, and full of expectations, its tough when your boyfriend is a non-conformist.  I mean, what girl wants to be with that guy?  Don’t get me wrong – I got a few good cards & small tokens, but nothing at all like what I had built up in my mind.  After a few years, I came to terms with the fact that he was just plain unwilling to conform to this cultural tradition.

However, my husband was the guy that used his savings to pay for my college tuition, no questions asked.  He was the guy that gave me his (dream) car so I could get get back & forth from school, while he rode his bike to work.  He was the guy that was telling me “this is the most beautiful you’ve ever been” after twenty-three and a half hours of labor & delivery.  And in more ways than not, my husband is still that guy.

Decades later, I know better than to expect much on Valentine’s Day, and I’m OK with that.  As much as he refuses to shower me with tokens of his affection on this day, he is doting on all the other days of the year.  He still brings me Toblerone when I’m having a bad day and white tulips “just because”.  He still writes songs about me after all these years.  He cooks because I don’t like to and takes the kids out so I can have a moment alone.  After five kids, he still somehow manages to make me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world!  And this is all without prompt or dictation or request.  Yeah, he is that guy.

I didn’t get a card, or flowers, or a box of chocolates yesterday; and it turns out that I’m not a glitz or grand gestures kinda gal.  If asked to choose between the guy that obligingly brings gifts on a predictable day of the year and the guy that is a relentless non-conformist, I’d choose the non-conformist.  I want a guy that’s wildly unpredictable & romantic, and when he decides to do something sweet for me, he does it of his own accord.

So I guess, it turns out that I’m the girl that wants to be with that guy!  And apparently, bringing home chicken wings in the middle of your work day is how you celebrate Valentine’s Day, the Non-Conformist Way!

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

Last week, I shared how we use the grocery store flyers to reinforce good nutrition.  This week, I’m sharing another way we use them.  Grocery Store Flyers :: part 2… shopping lists for all ages!

Yup, we are that family!  We don’t leave the kids at home; we take them with us and make them a part of the process as soon as they are able to pick things up and put them into the cart.  Obviously, when they are just lil’ lovies, we just do the whole counting the number of apples, picking the color of peppers type of thing.  BUT as they get older, their involvement evolves.

I cut out some items, derived from our weekly grocery list, and glue them to the bigger scraps of paper I’m left with from when I print internet coupons.  They each get their own list and relevant coupons.  They are tailored to each child according to their reading skill level.

The older ones go off together to find their items.  They are responsible for reading the promotion & coupons and making sure they have the right amount needed, right kind of the item, etc.  They’re on their own, but if they need help, we expect them to help each other and/or seek help from a store employee.  They are also very comfortable with the checkout procedure at this point.  AND besides, pretty much everyone at our local store knows our family anyway so no worries! 

Zany's list

We try to give the younger kids as much time as they need to figure things out, with lots of encouragement from us.  They have the benefit of pictures but sometimes there are way too many choices and they get confused.  (Whats with the insane amount of choices anyway?  Sheesh!  That’s for another post, I’m sure.)

Goodle's list

(I apologize for the crappy pictures, btw, it was a cloudy kind of day.)

Using the grocery sales flyers to teach reading and life skills is another way we apply Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

What do you do with your grocery store flyers?

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

Even though I use Coupon Mom to help generate our grocery lists, we still get at least 1 copy of our local Grocery Sales Flyers every week.  They usually come with our village paper and sometimes they stuff duplicate copies in there.  Even though we’ve drastically reduced our junk mail, we still get some.  Some we shred, some we recycle, these we use!

One of the things we use them for is to reinforce our family’s ideas on good nutrition.  When they are young, we introduce the idea of “traffic light eating” based on Dr. William Sear’s book “Eat Healthy, Feel Great”.  The general idea is that there are green light, yellow light, and red light foods.  Green means go: eat as many of these you want.  Yellow means slow down: its fine in moderation.  Red means stop: pick a healthier choice.  We slightly disagree with Dr. Sears’ ideas of what categories specific foods belong to, but thats why its great to do this activity according to our family’s philosophies.

I cut 3 circles out of green, yellow, and red construction paper.  The kids cut out the pictures of the foods.

Then they decide where each food belongs.

Makes for a great family discussion!  And sometimes, sibling debate! 

Using the grocery sales flyers to reinforce good nutrition is one way we apply Sofia’s Ideas on Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

I’m still here.  Without reliable internet connection.  AT&T swears its not a problem on their end, but for an additional $50 they’ll “try to diagnose the problem”.  I’m thinking that should be part of the service they provide, no?  Thanks, but no thanks.  After many weeks, and many calls to customer service, I’m done.  Time to sever our ties and move on to better things.

photo via castandbind.blogspot.com

Without the distraction of the computer, though, I’ve had time to think.  And when I think, I make lists.  Lots of lists.  And now I’m just left wondering why my pregnant nesting instinct always coincides with my lowest energy levels.  Seems like mother nature’s cruel, sick joke, no?  Kinda like the discrepancy in male & female sexual peaks.  She thinks she’s funny, that mother nature!  I think she’s twisted.

But I’ll handle this the way I always do… by forcing myself to do more than I’m physically capable of at this stage, hurting my sciatic, crying for Papa to give me a massage when he gets home from work, and nodding my head when he asks if I’ve learned my lesson this time, knowing full well that I’ll be doing the same thing all over again as soon as my back feels a bit better.  What can I say?  I know I should rest but this incessant inner chatter just won’t allow it.  Really, I have nothing to say for myself.

One last thing…

Enter my giveaway here!  As of this post, there are only 11 entries so far so your chances of winning are pretty darn good!!!

When I designed this blog, no one liked the aesthetics but me, I kid you not.  But, I recently received the Stylish Blogger Award!  Me? stylish?  Who knew?

I want to give a sincere and warm thank you to both Sand to Pearl and Child Central Station for honoring me with this!  I truly appreciate you both for thinking of me!

As with most blog awards, there are some rules…
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

7 Things About Me ::

I’m running out of things to share about myself, but here it goes…

1. Both my parents are Indonesian.
2. But I was born in Woodside (Queens), New York.
3. On a sofa.
4. Hence, the name Sofia.
5. I’m pregnant with our sixth child.
6. After 14 years of hearing it, I still get highly offended when people ask me if they all have the same father and if I’m old enough to have that many kids.  For the love of Pete, people!  Yes, they all have the same father!  Sheesh! 
7. If I could, I would have this baby on the sofa too. 

15 {Stylish} blogs I’ve recently discovered ::

These are all blogs that I personally find to be {Stylish} AND I also love what I’m reading there.  I hope when you visit, you’ll let them know Sofia from Sofia’s Ideas sent you!  Here they are, in no particular order…

1. the little list
2. Modern Country Style
3. Green Your Decor
4. Craftberry Bush
5. Green Submarine
6. mmmcrafts
7. Perfectly Imperfect
8. Sweet November
9. sew kate sew
10. Sew Chatty
11. Scraps of Starlight
12. bouffe e bambini
13. Love is Everywhere
14. {:.} nesting season
15. secretly loves pink

Sofia’s {Ideas}

A Sunday series.  A single idea.  One of way too many.

.

It’s Wednesday and I can finally say it is slow no more at Sofia’s Ideas!  My dear sweet brother took some time out of his very busy schedule to help me out.  He moved me over to Blue Host and said “once everything is done, it should be lightning fast!  BUT do not touch it until Tuesday morning!”  Aahh, he knows me all too well.  It wasn’t easy staying away from this baby of mine, but I did.

But Tuesday morning came and we had no internet connection.  Papa and I both got frustrated enough to finally call AT&T.  After about 30 minutes on the phone with them, we were up and running again.  Phew!

I’m taking some time to catch up on some homeschooling that we had to delay (because of all the issues we’ve been having), but I’ll be back to catch up on here soon thereafter… Oh how I’ve missed you so…

Thanks again for all of your patience and support…

♥ Sofia

Awh shucks, AubrieAnne!  You’re making me blush!  Thank you so much for thinking of me… I’m not so sure I deserve this, but with much love I accept…

To compromise between following the rules and not being redundant, I’ll redirect you here.  (That’s where I share some personal tidbits about myself!)

Please take a moment to visit AubrieAnne at Who’s Your Editor? She is an amazing writer and has fast become one of my dear blog buddies.  She is currently giving her blog a makeover so I hope you’ll stay tuned for all the changes she has in store!