I have issues.

Have I said this before?  That I’ve been accused of being “a ridiculously hard nut to crack”?  That I don’t let many people in?  That I don’t like that feeling of being vulnerable? that feeling of being exposed?  Yeah, well, that feeling? That feeling makes me sweat.  Sometimes, profusely.

But if you’ve been with me from the beginning, then you know that is probably why this blog has been so therapeutic for me.  I put myself out there and although it took several months, it eventually felt really good.  But that didn’t stop me from taking a hiatus from time to time, now did it?  And I know why.

One of the reasons I withdraw from my life (when things aren’t perfect) is because I am emotionally naked.  (The other reason is ocd, in case you missed it.)  I am completely incapable of hiding what I’m feeling.  I don’t know how to put on a “brave” or “happy face” or how to “turn it on”.  Nope, I wear my thoughts and emotions right on my sleeve.

So when I don’t like you, you know it.  Immediately.  (Sorry!  But when I love you, you know that too.)  And when I’m upset or angry, I exude those emotions.  And I hate that whole “awh, what’s wrong?!? talk to me…” thing because I don’t like to talk.  And that always inevitably leads to this moment where this well-intentioned person thinks it has something to do with them.  Like I’m either upset with them, or that I don’t trust them enough to confide in them.  Ugh – I despise that moment.  I avoid that moment.  That moment gives me guilt.  So I don’t pick up my phone, reply to emails, and forget about me answering the door. (I made that mistake once; we now have a new UPS guy.)

And so while I have been doing all this gathering lately, I’ve been doing so with the understanding that I have hit another plateau.  I keep running around in a circle and wondering why I end up right back where I started.  So I have made a decision.  It’s time for me to be more transparent.

So…

this is me!  The Sofia behind Sofia’s Ideas.  No more being coy, hiding behind a miniature profile shot.  Nope, now you know exactly what I look like.  {Yikes!  Is it getting hot in here?  Didn’t I tell you this sort of stuff makes me sweat!?!}  I’ve also decided to make good on my promise to make Sofia’s Ideas a more personal space while I share my journey towards Simplicity, Frugality, and Frivolity… all with an Eco-Mentality!

And after over a year (sheesh!), I finally hit “publish this page” on Facebook.  So, please Please PLEASE, I beg of you – please “like” my page.  I’ll be your best friend?  Ok, you go do that now and I’ll be waiting here.  Sweating. Profusely.   ;0

My name is Sofia.  I’m 34.  I have 6 kids.  I blog.  I have issues.

Tagged as: OCD, On My ♥